Dial 911

As I watched the news today, I was thinking about the numbers 911. Those 3 little numbers get us connected to the emergency services that we need to come help us. Whether it be the ambulance, fire department, or police all 3 of those services respond to 911. They respond to crisis immediately and as fast as they can to assist whoever needs the help. It is the same with God. He responds to our 911 situation. At times it is not how we want Him to respond, but He does. He also has 3 emergency services for us. God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit. Each one helps us in our crisis situation. Each one compliments the other in order for His will to be accomplished in us. Sometimes it feels like the fire is hot and the flames are going to burn us up and we need the fire department, but God says to not be anxious for anything, instead bring all our needs to Him in prayer. Life can have those moment that we need to dial 911 and sometimes it feels as if we need an ambulance to take us to the hospital for major work, but the Holy spirit does His work as a comforter in the time of pain, heartache, rejection, fear, etc. So as God showed me this, i said to myself, I need to remember that I have a direct speed dial to the greatest 911 operator....GOD.

10 years ago.

10 years ago seems like yesterday...

the year 2000 was the big Y2K ahah i remember waiting on new years to see if my computer worked and hearing of people storing food for the mass chaos that was about to happen. WOW never did. Were you one of those who was panicking and wondering what would happen..then 2001 came. Wow. this was a life changing year for me, i met my ex husband in june of 2001 and we were married in december 2001. I think about that moment. That time i walked into the door of the church and asked am i doing the right thing? It is true what Jeremiah says, The heart is deceitfully wicked. This is so true because sometimes You think you know what you want, and in reality well, its not what you need. Then came 2002, the most memorable by far. I got pregnant in 2002 with my baby girl, im not sure if i was ready, well you really are never ready to be a parent, but Miss Sunshine was there. I remember the first time i felt her flutter in my womb. It moved my heart because something inside of me was growing. (amazing) The first doc appt set, we hear the heart beat, the joy of tears, and they say November 30 is your due date. Time goes bye....spring turns to fall, then on october 7, 2002 I go to the doctor. What was a routine check up, led me to the hospital to deliver Miss Iliana Rebekah Xochitl Baldwin. Scared and unsure what was happening my week long visit to the hospital had me go into emergency sugery and premature delivery of a 3.2lb baby girl. Most scariest time of my life, but somehow the sound of thunder happen and they took this tiny little thing from inside of my womb, she screamed at the top of her lungs.... her dad watching the doctors as they say wow those are lungs, finally they bring her over to me..this tiny small orange sized head filled with dark brown hairs, her eyes looking at me saying hello, was finally here. She was as shoe box baby. Only problem was her weight. 2 weeks later she came home...on halloween..cutest little 4lb baby ever...i dont remember much of 2003-2004 i know they came and left, as i was in a functioning state of depression with the way life was going and a crazy battle with the consequences of doing what you want not what GOd wants...2005..well this changed my life forever. Separation, fear, tears, hate, love, unforgiveness, confusion, pain, abandonment, all the things that can happen as you change you status from Married to confusing to ultimately divorce. but its ok because 2005 ended and 2006 begun.Iliana in school Healing, reconciliation with God, health, positive self image..all the things that happen when God begins the process of healing. This is the year i fell in love with my work all over again; I was free from feeling depressed! 2007 a year of perfection. Iliana starts 1st grade and her life changes from being this shy intimidated little girl to this stronger more outgoing kid who is amazing. I begin to see there is hope..New friends come into my life the best friends ever. 2008 change change change change No more youth pastoring just Young Life more community work, more decisions more completion to the process of divorce...iliana goes to 1 grade..wow. amazing..she is stronger she is smarter she is wiser..i can see that i can love and trust again. AMAZING then 2009 comes..my assignment at lost canyon changed my heart for things..i met amazing people, i love more i see clearer im not afraid anymore...so much has happen in the the past 10 years..i could write all night...but the most important thing of all that has changed....IS ME!

I look forward to 2010. I never thought i would see it, but it is here. I have goals and things to accomplish. There are things i want to do new places to visit, new relationships to hold on too and more discovering the beautiful thing we call life..........

here is to 2010......

Task Completed~

Have you ever made a goal and not completed it? Shake your head and say yes! We all have done this, we all have not completed the task at hand. But i am here to tell you I competed the race. It was harder than I thought, but then again goals are often hard. They are those thorns in your flesh that cause you to question everything about you. It is harder then anything and everything sometimes. HA. I am sure I will continue to run. There is something about it that makes you feel like PUSH yourself harder so that you do not give up. Theres the high of the 2 mile that you run and feel like its therapy for you soul. Theres the cold early morning breeze that hits your legs and you are so cold that you are questioning the daunting thought of WHY AM I RUNNING AT 6am or at 9pm. But the satisfaction comes when you realize you ran farther than you did 2 days ago. Thats how life is. thats how the journey is. You go farther then you did yesterday. You quit doing what you know is wrong so that you go further in your life. You dont compromise your beliefs for the sake of making friends. You push you run, you go forward. I heard someone the other day say i like (blank) because they let me be who I am. It made my stomach curl because the person who they mentioned is a follower of Christ and they enable others to continue in their destructive behavior that will lead to pain and suffering. Makes me sick to know people cant man or woman up to say run, run, run and do what is right. Forgive and love, forgive and be forgiven. Instead people chose to compromise and not run the race because they are weak. I am weak at times but i know God can give me strength to over come the race! Ha. ya thats it. ONLY through God can you say I CAN!.....(real talk).......

YES IM BACK (its been forever)

So....Yes, i am back! Its been over a month since i blogged, its October, and that means Pumpkin Patch for Young Life. With that said it means I have been working a lot. I am still on my weight loss journey! I got sick a few weeks back so i stopped running but i picked it up again and im getting back on track! It is so frustrating when you stop running and you start all over especially with a crazy schedule it is almost like you wanna quit but something inside says DONT stop running!! I dont want to stop i want to continue to run, i want to eat as healthy as I can..So for all you who wanna QUIT! Keep going. Pursue the dream, pursue your goal! You Can! I can!!! I will hit that goal!!!! Its October and November 14 is soon. sooo my run is in 2 weeks OMG. wow. I will do it! I will survive!! hey hey!!!

PICS of what you missed for the month

My pop singing to my Uncle....(thank you Lord for Familia)The Mendoza Cousins
Ilianas 7th year at pumpkin Patch

another YL pumpkin patch daySoooo cute!!!

ilianas birthday! i like this pic of me and one my BF's crystal...

Ilianas cake for her birthday

Iliana working at the pumpkin Patch

New Hair..

Crystal with her vampire teeth at the pumpkin patch

just look...

Just look at the rich color of the field. It is vibrant, it is deep green, it is ready for Harvest...Just look at the child whose eyes are filled with tears because they are full of fears......Just look at the woman walking down N. Main Street, trying to make money by hustling on her feet...Just look...at the street sign with bullet holes its truly time...Just look at this picture again, don't let your heart fail you there's work ahead! Its ready, its ripe, its time...Just look, his kingdom is coming, don't fear don't fret, just don't forget...Just look at yourself and say, what am i doing to reach a soul today... Just look...at the family of 5 holding up..a I'm hungry sign..Just look...there's a man who has not clue what to say..instead he wonders where he will lay..Just look..at the community so deep in need..will you go..will you fight..will you say its time for Gods kingdom to shine..just look and see get on your knee..fight for the light..to shine tonight.

JUST LOOK!!!

i wrote this thinking as i drove with my daughter down the streets of East Salinas. We were driving and praying down every street as we rode in the dusk of the night. As we drove down elkington, pacific, garner, del monte, casitas, mae, green, sieber, my heart said just look. One day it will be filled with children playing, not worried about the dark coming, filled with the love of God. filled with hope filled with peace..its not just some far distant dream. It is reality it will happen. JUST Look...it motivates me. it causes me to revolutionize the way i think, the way if see things. It is not impossible...because with God all this are possible! Dream...

I love The old school Nike Stuff

You don't stand in front of a mirror before a run
wondering what the road will think of your outfit.
You don't have to listen to its jokes and
pretend they're funny in order to run on
it.
It would not be easier to run if you
dressed sexier.
The road doesn't notice if you're not
wearing lipstick.
Does not care how old you are.
You do not feel uncomfortable because you
make more money than the road.
And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it. Whether it's
been a day or even a couple of hours since your last
date.
The only thing the road cares about, is
that you pay it a visit once in a while.
Nike. No games...just sports.

Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest. You know what to get worked up about and what to get rid of. And you know when it's time to take care of yourself, for yourself. To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete. Because you know it's never too late to have a life. And never too late to change one.

Si Se Puede!

YES its been forever. Im still running. Im still going forward. Im still pressing on towards the goal. The Run is in November and its September. I still have so much more training to run a full 3.2 miles, but im going to do it whether i run the whole thing or i walk and run. Im not giving up im a fighter im doing it. HAHHA YES DONT GIVE UP! Im surrounded daily by those reminders of giving up, of saying dont do it, why run, why even think of it!! BUT then i say no push harder push until you cant push anymore. That's life right. That's what we have to do if we want to accomplish anything in life. WE HAVE TO PUSH. I hear the whole Rocky song in my head...only its Misty Edwards singing I will run. I will run I will run..Cuz all i want is the Lord and what he has for my life. This run is not about being fit. or saying OH i ran a 5K but to look at how far i have come in life and say I DID this with the help of the only lover worthy of my life!!! So if you feel like you are about to throw that towel in and say I quit. DONT DO IT push hard!!! Its in that one moment that you dont quit that you realize I HAVE COME THIS FAR, and ill go until i see the finish line in front of me! DONT QUIT~~~ SI SE PUEDE~~ YES I CAN~~